Uncertainity

I have been having a blast this last month. Things have been pretty great except for a few petty misnomers. For the first time the phrase "too busy having fun" actually makes sense to me. But at the same time the phrase "All good things come to end" has always made sense to me. The uncertainty of whether things will continue to be the same is not a pleasant thing. The feeling you get when you realise that someday it will all go down the drain is just haunting.

I know I've said change is a good thing. But I'm human, I go back on my words. Nobody likes it when things go bad. Especially when it happens all of a sudden. There is no way of preventing it. All you can do is handle whatever comes your way.

Here I am having the time of my life, with absolutely no idea of whether its going to last or not. I feel terrible when I think about it. Leading a life in anticipation of what is going to occur next, sounds wasteful.

People say we ought to live in the present and not pester about the future or the past. But is that really possible? Can we actually move on? According to me its impossible to do so.

No matter how hard you try, there will always be a part of you reminiscing about the past or wondering about the future. The past is a part of us and the future is something that will soon be a part of us. Being human, its inevitable to ignore any part of us.

I guess all we can do is try to lead our lives with minimal worries. Try not to plough our past with scythes. What's done is done. No point in digging unnecessarily when you know that no treasure lies down below.

As for the future, try having fun with its uncertainty. There is no point in brooding about the future, because all it holds is just more future. Its like what Isaac Asimov said "In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate". So just enjoy while the game lasts!

Another sketch

Just another one of my amateur sketches.

Sketch

Been a while since I last posted something. Reason being because I've been a bit busy. Thought I'd just upload a sketch I did. Nothing great as usual. Just some usual amateur work.

Thickheadedness

I didn't have a great day today. I took the bus to my college today. While walking from the bus stop towards my college, I noticed a lady on her scooter. She had rode up onto the pedestrian pathway in order to ask the shopkeeper for some goods. I was irritated by the fact that she was so lazy to park her scooter and walk up to the shop. I ignored it and walked past her. Within a few seconds I heard a horn go off behind me. When I turned around and I saw the same lady still on the pedestrian pathway, asking me to give her way. I was terrible annoyed and I asked her what she was doing driving on the footpath. But the answer I got was just a simple shrug of the shoulders. That's when I lost my nerve!  She managed to nudge her way through and got off the footpath. As soon as she did so, I caught hold of hand with my left hand and I applied the breaks of her scooter with my right hand.

She was scared. I questioned her why she was driving on the footpath. She replied that there was no space for her to remove the vehicle. I stated that she should have used the same way she got onto the pathway! Then I spent the next few minutes yelling at her for not using the vehicle lane. I realised that there was no point in trying to get through to her. I just asked her to leave and I walked on, towards my college.

You might think that I was rude and shrewd. If so, then that was the exact idea that passed me as I narrated the story to my friends. But, at that point I lost my calm. I just hoped that the lady realised her mistake. Another incident occurred towards the end of the day.

After my class I hopped onto a bus towards home. I was fortunate enough to get a seat. Feeling relaxed, I turned my attention towards the woman across the aisle. She was engorging a piece of sugar cane. What disturbed me, was the sight of her throwing the piece of sugar cane out the window after chewing on it. She kept at it. I wanted to correct her. But, I thought I should try a different approach this time. So I took out a book from my bag, tore out a sheet and handed it to her. Then I requested her to put the chewed pieces onto that sheet and throw it away once she reached home.

The good news was that she actually obeyed. She put all the chewed pieces onto that sheet. I felt happy and I thought being kind actually helps gets the message through. But boy, was I wrong. As we approached her stop, she got up, crumpled the sheet containing the pieces of sugarcane and through it out of the window! I was angered by that. But I didn't react much apart from a sigh.

The lady in the bus was clearly an illiterate. Still that is no reason to not have simple manners. But the scooterist was a literate. I know so because she spoke to me in perfectly good english. Yet, she failed to be able to follow simple rules. To be an illiterate and do wrongs is one thing. But to knowingly go wrong being a literate is plain disgusting. This isn't the first time I've seen such unattractive events. I've lost count the number of times I've seen educated people spit in public places. The act of spitting is according to me one of the most ugliest habits. And to see people spit is just depressing. I fringe every time I see a person do it. Be literate or illiterate, certain amount of social behavior is a necessity.

Well, people knowingly committing social "do nots" is only half the problem. The other half is their inability to listen to a person when they try to correct you. In other words, thickheadedness! There I was trying to correct two people. And most probably I've failed in both cases. Not only did I waste time on such pointless people, I also wasted my energy. What do you do in such cases? Do you just ignore such events and move on? Or do you fight a gain-less battle hoping to win? My mother advised me to do neither. She told me to pick my battles. Fight the ones you know you stand to gain and avoid the ones where defeat is inevitable. I'm going to try following that advice. Seems like the most sane thing to do. Doesn't it?

Ramble on!

If you had read my ealier posts, it'd be clear to you that I'm a Led Zeppelin fan. One of my favorite songs is undoubtably "Ramble on".

One of the best parts of this song is the soft percussion by Bonham. Its as if he was just tapping his sticks upon a softer cover. But I know it isn't. The way the Jones bass and Bonham's drums play with each other as if dancing in a feud is impeccable.

And the lyrics! Oh gosh, its probably one of their best ever written. Page and Plant did a great job on it. The most interesting part is how it has references to the poem written by Tolkien in his "Lord of the rings". I, being a fan of the Lord of the rings, enjoy these glimpses into Tolkien's poem.

Mine is a tale that can't be told, my freedom I hold dear
How years ago in years of old, when magic filled the air
T'was in the darkest depths of mordor, I met a girl so fair
But gollum and the evil one crept up and slipped away with her, her, her

The comparison of the woman to the ring and the two guys fighting over her to gollum and sauron is so playful, yet brilliant!

The opening lines of the song reminds me of middle earth. Ah, middle earth!

This song was one of the first few songs I ever heard of Led Zeppelin and has remained one of my favourite rock songs of all time. The variations in the vocals was carried out by Plant in a perfect manner! Can't think of anyone who could've done a better job.

Page's brilliant riffs and Plant's vocals which intertwine each other like creeper and enveloped by the warm sunlight provided by the the bass and drums play off make this song complete and pretty much flawless!

The song is literally about a man trying to find the perfect woman. But the woman is just a metaphor for our desires. The idea of just wandering off in to the world in search for what our hearts truly desires is a thought that would have occurred to all of us. To get away from everything and go backpacking, would be great. But right now, I wanna complete my studies, get a job, build my life. I do have quite a lot on my plate right now...

But I know I've got one thing I got to do, Ramble on!

Complexity

Nirvana was one of the greatest rock bands of the 80s. I am not a huge fan. But who doesn't like a few of their songs. I guess I never became a fan because I really never could understand what Kurt Cobain was trying to convey. Yes, of course, his enunciation was terrible. But the complex issues that he tried merging into one song was what I could never break down. Random phrases like "mosquito", "albino" in "smells like teen spirit" still don't entirely make sense to me. Well it might not have been just random phrases to Cobain. It might have been his way of conceptualising the deranged world that he and all of us tried and are trying to live in.

I admire him for trying. A man in his 20s who tried to fight; A man who mustered support from masses aka "Y generation"; A man who was idolised. The reason behind his suicide is still unclear. But one reason is that the pressure got to him. The pressure of being an idol; of being the leader of the Y generation; a hero of the rock world. All that pressure and the want to unravel the complexities of life itself, might have been too much for him to handle.

We all have had our share of complex situations. The kind that make you want to pull your hair out and shout out so loudly that people miles away from you should know of your troubles. They happen more often than we'd like them to occur. Sometimes a simple task which should be overcome without any hassle, turn into a mess. It could be as simple as brushing your teeth in the morning. You could run out of tooth paste. And what should take usually five minutes turns into ten minutes. The extra five goes into salvaging what is left in the tube. Maybe you could manage to squeeze some out using both your hands, but by the time you get your tooth brush near the tube's end, the roll of paste just crawled back in. Complexity is annoying, especially when it occurs in little petty things. But those cases are overcome easily.

Well, that's not the case when complexity hits the big stuff. When that happens, at times it becomes hard to comprehend the situation. We then stand immobalised, not knowing what to do next. If we panic, we will trip over. The only option is to take a step back, consider everything and take it from there. If you are successful, then its a lesson learnt. Not only do you get to know the mistake you made, you will also get to know how to tackle the problem if it ever happens again. But if you fail, then you can't do anything but see your pawns topple over. The most you can do is minimise the injuries. But even then, if you learn from your mistake, then you haven't lost out entirely.

Complexity isn't always healthy. Its like poison. In tiny doses, it makes us stronger. But in large doses its fatal. Much like what might have happened to Cobain. If we take the right measures, we can avoid it. But if it still manages to slip through and create chaos, that isn't the worst case scenario. The worst case is when you are unable to defeat it. So, the least you can do, is fight! Don't succumb to it. Give it your best shot! Cobain tried. And I admire him for that.

Company

I've had a pretty lazy day today. Got up late didn't do anything apart from the usual. In the evening, I sat on my bean bag, jumping from one website to another aimlessly on my laptop, with my itunes running through songs in the background. But it wasn't till I heard Led Zep's "Tangerine" playing that I noticed the being curled up next to my feet. It was my dog Bubbly. She had pretty much drifted off in a sound sleep, almost exactly how "Tangerine" can capsulate you and transport you to summer's eve by a lagoon.

As the song went into its chorus I focused on her breathing. They were deep and slow breaths. I understood then, that she was so comfortable sleeping beside my feet. I didn't want to disturb her sleep. She was so happy and pleasant. It was as if in her mind nothing existed apart from me and that my presence was the most ultimate aspect for her.

I started thinking about our time together and it dawned upon me that she is such a beautiful creature. She has never asked for anything beyond the necessities. Obviously she can't ask verbally. If that were the case, then I'd be stinking rich by now. She gives these looks which convey what she wants. The "I'm dying" look usually means I'm hungry. When she goes near the door, it means she wants to go for a walk and empty her tank. When jumps around, it means she justs wants to play and try ripping my limbs off. Haha! Just kidding, she plays by the rules and my limbs are very much intact just like the way I like them. But as she laid there, I knew that all she wanted was my company.

I couldn't help but smile. I was so tempted to wake her up and give her a hug. But I resisted it. My mother has told me stories about when I was a baby. During her maternal leave, she'd watch me sleep and resisted the want to wake me and play with me, much like how I felt with Bubbly. I do realise that I compared myself to a dog. But, what can I say, Bubbly is the only being I've watched grow up and loved through each and every moment.

Bubbly in our yard

Of course she's awake now, running around the house scrounging for food with her "i'm dying" look. And I write this post thinking about the moment we shared during that song. Its hilarious I share a bond like this with a dog. I write this singing the song in my head. The lyrics make a lot more sense to me now than it ever did. The song is about a man reminiscing his times with the woman he loved. I laugh because I'm relating myself to the lyrics because of how I feel with a canine. But, like I said, I love that dog.

Makes you think, doesn't it? I don't blame you if you think I'm a crazy person. Heck, I feel like that about myself sometimes. Doesn't everyone get thought that they crazy once in a while? Apart from you the probable heebie jeebies I do hope, I made you think about 'Company'. When you have the right company, nothing else matters apart from those people. It could be friends, family or even your pets. Anyone can become a part of your comfort zone, if you allow it. So go on! Get out there and be with the people you love. I on the other am off to play with Bubbly.